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Thursday, August 7, 2014

I'd Never Seen Him Look That Way and Pantoum Writing

Today I tried a new form of poetry for a contest on Writing.com. I wrote a pantoum, which is:
The pantoum originated in Malaysia in the fifteenth-century as a short folk poem, typically made up of two rhyming couplets that were recited or sung. However, as the pantoum spread, and Western writers altered and adapted the form, the importance of rhyming and brevity diminished. The modern pantoum is a poem of any length, composed of four-line stanzas in which the second and fourth lines of each stanza serve as the first and third lines of the next stanza. The last line of a pantoum is often the same as the first.
Poetic Form: Pantoum

Although my pantoum didn't win the contest, I am still quite proud of it:

I'd never seen him look that way,
Freshly trimmed, his peach skin shines;
Clean white shirt, brand new jeans.
He stole my breath as I try to find my words.

Freshly trimmed, his peach skin shines;
I never realized how blonde he had been.
But where was his Detroit embroidered hat?
Or Mishka? What does he have hidden up his sleeve?

Never realizing how blonde he had been-
He leads me to his brand new white Escalade,
"I have an idea in mind," I'm surprised he's calm;
I'm nervous as hell, but I smile and let him continue.

In his brand new white Escalade,
"How about dinner at Slow's, then a show?"
"Sure!" I smile and give him a hug and kiss;
He always knows how to make my visit special.


I'd never seen him look that way.

From "Sick Man," I had this look in mind while writing it, but in this good shot he's wearing his Mishka hat.

Bianca  has reviewed "I'd Never Seen Him Look That Way | Edit | fs

I sure bet you two had a wonderful evening Smile Well written!

Reply to Bianca     *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/07/2014 @ 11:29am EDT
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I guess my writing about Monoxide does sound like I have a relationship with him from time to time. Ooops! LLAL.



I'm thinking of writing more pantoums for contests I'm thinking of entering for money. I should write one for laughs, but not submit. Maybe something with the start:

You don't stuff it to become stiff!

I could see this going in all sorts of directions, muhaha.

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