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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

My Life As a Cloud

10 Secrets You Never Knew About Clouds

The reminds me of a shirt I used to have in high school that said: MY LIFE AS A CLOUD. I thought it was a creative, funny list and it made me chuckle.

Ah, my first camera was so bad. Anyway, this was from Christmas 2005... I still have the stickers (just not the shirt, I don't think).

But, look what else I found in this album:

Awww, Woo and then nan and Woo. Woo died in November 2007 after having him for 19 years. I miss them both. :(

Nan, Great Grandma Mary (mom's grandma... she died at age 99.5 in November 2009) and Woo.

I'm looking at the Midwestern and Southern cookbooks I borrowed from the library to continue the recipe book I started. This looks good:

Lobster Savannah

Total Time:
1 hr 15 min
30 min
45 min
Yield:2 servings
Shrimp Dinner Southern
2 (1 1/4-pound) lobsters
8 ounces Newburg Sauce, recipe follows
8 ounces sea scallops
1/2 pound small shrimp, peeled and deveined
4 medium mushrooms, sliced
10 slices aged provolone
2 whole roasted red peppers, sliced
2 whole roasted green peppers, sliced
4 ounces Parmesan, grated
Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F.

Take the lobster, place it stomach side down on the counter, and with a heavy knife cut the lobster in half starting behind the head. This kills the lobster by severing its spine. If you are not comfortable ask your local fish market to cut it for you.

In a large saucepan add about 4 ounces of Newburg Sauce and put on low heat. Add the scallops, shrimp and sliced mushrooms. Cook until seafood is halfway cooked, about 5 minutes. Place scallop and shrimp sauce over each half of the lobster and top with slices of provolone. Add slices of roasted peppers and top with fresh grated Parmesan. Cook until golden brown, about 18 minutes.

Newburg Sauce:
1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons paprika

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 ounce dry sherry

1 cup half-and-half

In a medium mixing bowl, combine flour, paprika, salt, pepper and cayenne pepper. In a medium sauce pan, melt the butter over low heat. Add the flour mixture to the melted butter and stir constantly. Add the sherry to the sauce and continue stirring until it thickens. Add the half-and-half and heat through, continuing to stir. Serve with Lobster Savannah.

Read more at:

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

NaPoWriMo Day #29

It's the eve before the last day of NaPoWriMo. This month went by so quickly! Today I am going to use the prompt from the NaPoWriMo site: " This may remind you a bit of the “New York School” recipe, but this prompt has been around for a long time. I remember using it in a college poetry class, and loving the result. It really forces you into details, and to work on “conducting” the poem as it grows, instead of trying to force the poem to be one thing or another in particular. The prompt is called the “Twenty Little Poetry Projects,” and was originally developed by Jim Simmerman. And here are the twenty little projects themselves — the challenge is to use them all in one poem:

1. Begin the poem with a metaphor.
2. Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
3. Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.
4. Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).
5. Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
6. Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
7. Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
8. Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
9. Use an example of false cause-effect logic.
10. Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).
11. Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”
12. Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
13. Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”
14. Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
15. Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
16. Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
17. Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
18. Use a phrase from a language other than English.
19. Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
20. Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem."

Untitled 2

When life hands you lemons, freeze them and throw them
as hard as you can at the people making your life difficult--
Grumpy Cat is a genius, I often wish I had her life,
where I listen to people praise me all day and call me their sweety,
Monoxide would know me then and he would love me and cuddle me,
kissing me with smoky breath, the smell of minty menthol on my tongue;
rescuing me from a stressful world, whisking me away to Roseville,
"Y'all will love her," he would bring to Jamie and Blaze Ya Dead Homie and the others,
but maybe they won't like me because I'd feel too soft and I am too caring;
if it's like anything I've learned over the years, not everyone likes a kind soul,
and what if I don't fit in, sometimes I look too menacing or not menacing enough--
you know, because sometimes a girl can't be scary, or because sometimes she dresses nice,
but mostly she likes her band t-shirts and comical tees, so by default Monoxide would like me,
"Jess, you're so cool," he'd say and I would think, "yes, Jess is so cool! Whoop whoop!"
The red cherry Faygo in my Tigers glass is as sweet as Pixie Stix dust;
Monoxide drapes his black Fielder, special edition, jersey around me, his favorite,
his favorite jersey that will become mine as we share the house in Roseville,
purple bushes and roses and some expensive cars that he'll teach me to drive in,
I will become Mrs. Methric! We can elope in Windsor next January, I think in snow!
C'est La Vie! "Carpe diem!" Our chinchilla would say as he scrunches his small nose;
as hand squeezed lemonade sits in my brand new glass pitcher,
while I sit on my porch overlooking the cars drive through Gratiot and 13 Mile;
life may not be perfect, but there is a calm that comes from anxiety and the chaos.

 2014 Jessica Marie.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Surgery for Barnaby Fundraiser/ NaPoWriMo Day #28

We're in the last stretch of NaPoWriMo, I hope you enjoyed reading what I've written this month as much as I've enjoyed writing the poems. :) Today I am going to write a poem using the villanelle. What is a villanelle? According to, a villanelle is a "highly structured villanelle is a nineteen-line poem with two repeating rhymes and two refrains. The form is made up of five tercets followed by a quatrain. The first and third lines of the opening tercet are repeated alternately in the last lines of the succeeding stanzas; then in the final stanza, the refrain serves as the poem's two concluding lines. Using capitals for the refrains and lowercase letters for the rhymes, the form could be expressed as: A1 b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 A2."

Do not listen to vapid opinions of youth,
curiosity and travel instead should fill the days;
remember catty, vain jealousy hides truth.

Though you want to be the most pretty from Duluth
because he kissed you on the cheek, rumors heavily weigh--
do not listen to vapid opinions of youth!

Yet, the nasty words hurt more than an impacted tooth,
tears and a butcher's knife blade  goes astray;
remember catty, vain jealousy hides truth!

ignore the harassing cat calls from the phone booth,
but you learned too late, grieving the abuses on the way,
do not listen to the vapid opinions of youth!

As adulthood kiss their cheeks, aging and uncouth,
struggling to piece together insults failing half way,
remember catty, vain jealousy hides truth.

And you, my monster, there you are pouring vermouth,
Curse, bless me, I drown your evil from that November day--
do not listen to vapid opinions of youth,
remember catty, vain jealousy hides truth!

Poem about a dream I had last night. I was bullied and harassed in school and I remember in this dream my 24, almost 25 year old self, is watching my 12 year old self sitting in the classroom with these girls harassing me like they used to. Myself now spoke up and said, "you are cowards. Your opinions are vapid and you are hurting me" among other powerful things. Then I move on to something that happened in November and I can't do much, but then I wake up. It was a powerful dream; I guess not so much a nightmare, but maybe working through things.

2014 Jessica Marie

Detroit Chinchillas posted this fundraiser: Surgery for Barnaby. I want to donate $5, but we'll see. I feel for them, but tomorrow I'm ordering the plane ticket to view apartments in Roseville, then need to get a hotel room and then save up for the apartment.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Dad- NaPoWriMo Day #26

Happy last Saturday of NaPoWriMo! Only four more days. Today I am going to use a prompt which is from "Vince Gotera, who wrote his “family member” poem for Day 20 in the form of a curtal sonnet. As Vince explains, the curtal sonnet is shorter than the normal, fourteen line sonnet. Instead it has a first stanza of six lines, followed by a second stanza of four, and then closes with a half-line. The form was invented in the 1800s by Gerard Manley Hopkins, who used it in his famous poem “Pied Beauty”. So for today, I challenge you to give the curtal sonnet a whirl. It doesn’t need to rhyme — though it can if you like — and feel free to branch out beyond iambic pentameter. Happy writing!"


I thank the heavens for blessing me with you—
for the lessons you taught me as a little girl;
the Father-Daughter dances we went to on Friday nights.
You in a suit and me in a dress that was glittery and blue;
"I've got sunshine," as the record spins and twirls;
you hold me in your arms and it must have been a sight.

Every day we'd ride around in your car;
as the wind blows our hair the bass whirls
while Eminem raps or Kittie shred guitars with fright;
we'd complain about the heat and rejoice fall wasn't far:

smiles so bright.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Secret Life of Blogger's Blog Party: Bringing Me Back Like Encore (4/19-4/25)

I know I have posted about this song a lot, but I love Twiztid's LDLHA-IBCSYWA and I can honestly say it still speaks for me. I just love Mono's line, "I'm bringing me back like an encore." I'm bringing myself back and I am going to keep on chugging along to get my future going. LDLHA-IBCSYWA has been giving me that drive.

I am also using this song because it's been great to see all the support I have been given even though there are quite a few nay-sayers. Thanks for everyone who has been standing by me! I've always loved Stand By Me by Ben E. King.

Saturday, April 19

Mimi, dad and I were watching Fat Albert's Easter Special. Funny. :) Then Soul Train came on!

My Twiztid CD came!

Review of Get Twiztid.

After mom came home from plant shopping and dad and I were done at the dentist, we went to Skippack Village. It was a really nice day. :)

Sadly this place closed, it looked so cool.

I thought this was a cool drawing… we ate at this American diner.

Sadly the bench was $3000.

My CDs I listened to tonight.

Great CD! I love Nine Inch Nails and the Downward Spiral.

Sunday, April 20

HAPPY EASTER! For my blog entry, please click here.

Me and Felix, Aunt Peg's cat. He is so sweet.

 Selfie with Aunt Kathy

Oh, Aunt Kathy took a stunning shot of the bees.

Aunt Kathy also took a great picture of Uncle Joey and Jason.

Oh, today also marked the 15th anniversary of Columbine, which I also mentioned in the Easter post, but here is a poem I wrote:

Nightmares (Columbine: 15 Years Later)

As night descends and the stars fall,
when the monster's paws begin to claw;
the vicious nail reach under the door,
you try with all your might on the lava floor
to hold with your shoes, you have to save,
the monster pounds and pounds and heat waves
surround you and you can't move or scream,
all goes black and growling grows to a sheen
crescendo, it sounds like the pits of Hell
where Satan calls out and in a commanding yell,
"You are worthless! It is all your fault!"
and in your last conscious moment opens the vault--
grabbing your pillow and screaming in fright,
for 15 years this has been your life night after night,
much like those who have survived such scares
and usually can't seem to find a life that fares.

Yet, you revisit 15 years later as you shake,
your thoughts jumble and your feet hardly make;
but as you walk with your mentor, your friend,
the nasty and disorienting thoughts end.
As you reach the janitor's closet where you were spared,
calmly you tell your story about how your shoes ware
from keeping the door closed from Eric and Dylan,
you saved a bunch of people, but can you call them villains?
You stand here, victorious, some would call it small,
but for countless other survivors who usually fall--
this victory is huge and life changing, but you deeply breathe,
praying that this will finally keep your nights free
as you begin life anew with your project for Wounded Minds
and helping those who grasp the terrors for a peaceful find.

The episode followed Sam Granillo who was 17 at the time. You can read and watch the episode here . Check out his Wounded Minds Project as well.

Monday, April 21

It's that time of week again! Here are my weekly goals:

Here are my weekly goals for the week of 4/21/14:

1.) Read 40 pages of "You Don't Know Me, But You Don't Like Me" a day since it has to be returned next Thursday (5/1).
2.) Work on some writing pieces for various folders.
3.) Review 3 different authors this week.
4.) Continue with NaPoWriMo.

It was a beautiful day today, so after work I went to the playground and just loved the view of the pond.

Also, here I am reading "You Don't Know Me, But You Don't Like Me." I have my Twiztid shirt on, but since it's taken with my phone camera, you can see the shirt or the full of the book. I love it so far.

Mimi hung out by dad to go outside, here is dad being silly.

We did let her out:

She's laying near where Olivia is buried.

Tuesday, April 22

Happy Earth Day! I went to Wegmans to do some grocery shopping and I wanted to see if they had any sale items still left. On my way to Wegmans, Scabby the Rat was out with union contractors holding the sign, but the bus went too fast. When I got to Wegmans, I saw the only sale items they had left with the Sundae dishes, so I bought.

It was always tradition with nan to have an ice cream Sundae or ice cream in general after spaghetti dinner, I can't wait to start that tradition.

I thought this was cute.

Here is Scabby the Rat! But the protesters aren't holding signs, but I'm glad I got this with my phone with how fast the bus was going.

Another beautiful day, so I went for a walk and had to take pictures of the carpenter bees, which I love, and other flowers.

Our Japanese Maple is about to bloom!

Mom checking her mail with Mimi in back of her.

Then when mom got up, Mimi took over.

It poured later on:

It got really nasty.

Wednesday, April 23

Today was such a bad day, I didn't really take many pictures. But, here are pictures from the porch building project.

Oh, I noticed this article in the April 21, 2014 issue of Time

I remember the last time I hung out with Sean back in 2012. The hookah bar we went to was next to a head shop (which is a tobacco/cigar place, or at least that's what it's supposed to be, but you can get stuff for weed there too) and we went in. Sean was telling me about K2, which is legal, synthetic weed, and I have to try it. He bought the stuff and as we were walking Philadelphia he lit it up and had me take a puff. I did, choked and it burned my throat, so I said, "Here, enjoy!" I noticed though that even though I didn't smoke a lot, it made me really moody for days, which I guess is why it's like weed (I never smoked pot and I don't intend to). Apparently, however, people are eating it (I asked mom if consuming something included smoking and she said it was only eating and drinking) and dying. Crazy that someone would eat it or even smoke it since it was like a burning sensation to me. But, I believe in choice, and if people want to do it and as long as they're responsible about it, it's up to the them. Hookah every once in a while is the only thing I'll do, haha.

Thursday, April 24

I woke up with Mimi sleeping between the fold of my leg and my robe. It was so cute. She was on my bed as I was getting dressed and she outstretched her paws and spread out against me. It was so cute. :)

Jack and crew continued with the porch addition.

I took a walk and saw some really cool things while out and about:

Once I came home from my walk, mom was done work and we went to Staples.

I'll probably go back and purchase one or two of these markers for the project I'm making of nan's pictures.

Some more of the addition. They will be back Monday. Even Mimi is enjoying it.

The Lily of the Valleys should be blooming soon!

Friday, April 25

Every morning when I'm at work, I love going to the processing department to get a cup of decaf cappucino from the Keurig. Karen loves the memes and always has something Grumpy Cat up. I love the one she hung today.

I saw geese near the pond in the area near the library. An elderly man lost his 20 year old mentally handicapped child. He was panicking when he came into the library looking for him. I saw the grandson earlier that morning and walked around the library with him in search of the grandson. When he wasn't in the library, I asked him if his grandson liked playgrounds, but he wasn't sure. There is a pedophile alert in this area and I was getting worried myself, so I told my coworker that I'd be right back because I was going to help this gentleman find his grandson. We walked outside and I showed him the way to the park. The park is somewhat big and a bit of a walk. We looked everyone and then man said to me, "this is awfully nice for you to do this, miss. Not many people would have helped." His wife was up near where their grandson's bike was parked. We canvased the whole playground and park area; nothing. When we trekked back up to the entrance of the township building, I saw two women that worked for Park and Rec, asked if they saw an African American young man about 20 years old. They knew who he was and said he was in the handicap stall in the girls bathroom on the lower level. So, I went to the bathroom and talked the grandson out. Apparently he got into a fight with his mom and he went off… he said to his grandfather, "I'm so tired of people looking for me and caring about me!" and started rambling. The grandfather thanked me up and down for my help. It was about a 20 minute search; when I got back, my shift was over and my coworker said to me, "that was very nice for you to do that, it's nice to help out. However, don't tell too many people in here because they would have told you not to get involved." It hit me at that second that maybe so many people over the years and through my hardships had that attitude and didn't bother to help - I really dislike that attitude, especially when someone could be in danger and others are panicking. I'm glad I never had that attitude and usually I disregard that attitude.

When I got home, dad brought home pizza and Italian candy:

It wasn't too bad.

Oh, let's see what I've accomplished this week:

1.) Read 40 pages of "You Don't Know Me, But You Don't Like Me" a day since it has to be returned next Thursday (5/1).
I didn't quite read 40 pages a day, but I'm halfway done the book and should be done by Wednesday. I'm loving it so far and it's making me want to go to the Gathering of the Juggalos, but I'd definitely go with someone so we'd have each others' backs. I really like what Nathan Rabin had to say and I want to use it for my "What is a Juggalo"  piece (I'll probably add what a Juggalo meant to me when I first became one at 14 and use what I have now as what it means to me at 24).

"Yet people looked down on Insane Clown Posse and Juggalos. The perception conformed to narrow, reductive stereotypes about how poor, uneducated white people think and behave. The irony, of course, is that people who know nothing about ICP - yet very strongly believe that their music is worthless and their fans are illiterate and racist - are doing exactly what the accuse ICP of doing: forming concrete ideas about how an entire group of people think and act based on their appearance, place on the socioeconomic ladder, and the kind of music they enjoy" (Rabin 52).

Ah, yes, I have had this happen. I remember a former professor actually commented on something and said, "shame on you, you are an educated woman, you shouldn't be listening to this trash" or something to that effect. I deleted it and laughed: I may be educated, but I can relate to the music and they have been there for me for a very long time. I've always been judged on my appearance, I know in high school people used to be intimidated by me (I dress like a "freak") until they got to know me and thought I was the nicest person in the world. I mused to myself today at work: Ah, yes, the FBI must have fun with me. Being a Juggalette (Juggalos were classified as a gang) and knowing Arabic, yep, they're having a field day as we speak: Juggalette and al Quaida member. God, what a pile of cow manure, but it's a good laugh.
Maybe this should be an essay and have the poem attached.

2.) Work on some writing pieces for various folders.
Here are a few pieces I worked on this week:

3.) Review 3 different authors this week.
Yep, read some very interesting pieces. :)
{review: 3981494}

4.) Continue with NaPoWriMo.
I really love the New York Style concept that I wrote for April 21st, I just thought it was rambly about Monoxide so I rewrote it like Frank O'Hara wrote his:

Monoxide has received my handwritten letter!
I was browsing around Instagram and Twitter,
it started raining and sleeting,
but dad said it was snowing,
and when it snows, the roads close
from ice, so it was really snowing and
sleeting and I was so bored inside,
that I totally forgot I wrote Monoxide
a four-page, long, drawn out, handwritten letter
for Christmas and to tell him that I loved him
and admired him and he gave me the strength.
As I was sitting inside on this snowy February day,
at noon or was it one o'clock or two?
When I turn away from the window where the cardinal sits
and suddenly I see a headline
there is plenty of snow in Roseville;
there is no sleet in Cleveland or Detroit or wherever he is now,
but I have not been to the concerts
and I feel perfectly disgraceful,
however, I plan to change that when I get to Michigan,
I'd love to meet and hug you, to shake your hand,
oh, Monoxide, I hope you didn't mind my letter!

Yep, I like this one better than the one I wrote originally for NaPoWriMo #21.

What else I have been doing this week:

I ran reviews of the apartments I posted last week. Apartment 1 got the best review . Apartment 2 was meh, but I think I might visit it. Review. I'm going to look at more apartments tomorrow. My one boss at the library was giving me tips on looking and she said to me, "We consider you like a daughter. We only want the best for you because we care about you!" and gave me a hug. It was so nice. I know they're worried and I know some want me to stay; I am going to miss them, but it's time to explore. I'll be keeping in touch and of course, I'll show them pictures before I move to reassure them. I think that would be okay, right? I should expand to what I wrote for ThankfulThursday and include the library: everyone I work with at the library has been family for the past eight years. It's hard to believe I started working there at 17 and have grown up there. See, that's what I want in a job: I want to grow with a job, that's important to me.

Speaking of work, as the meltdown I had the other day about finding work subsided, I thought about what I have to offer to a company or whatever line of work. A few of my friends suggested health care and I remember what an old nursing teacher told me in high school after a writing assignment: "You're a really powerful writer. You clearly empathized with someone in this piece and did a lot of research. You'd be better off in advocacy or social writing. You could make a difference." Someone on today reviewed my poem, Cry, and had to say this:

Maybe I can do advocacy writing.  Maybe I can also do some other inspirational writings, I apparently inspire a lot of people. I know someone at work who is about my dad's age is relocating and she always asks for my advice about it and loves hearing what I've been trying. I was surprised when she said I inspire her… I never expect a young woman to inspire someone older. I think I'm strong in writing and strong in caring about people. Of course, library work and I will be applying at libraries in Michigan. :)

Before I sign off for this week's blog party, here is Weekly Fluff.

@beeeeeeeebs is my neighbor and a vet. I love following her and seeing her personal animals (she has cats and a dog) and the cats she cares for at the vet hospital.

@beth_han_ham_rabs is a very cute account of hamsters and rabbits. :)

I hope everyone has a great weekend.