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Monday, December 30, 2013

100 Song Challenge

Back in September, my Facebook friend Dorothy posted this challenge in a note. It is really supposed to be 100 days of this challenge, but since a lot of things happened this past fall, I didn't have a chance to do it (I could try starting now, but when I have job interviews and move, I won't have the time). I have decided to do the 100 song challenge in this entry and use songs that had significance to me in 2013 -- I like music, so hopefully this won't be too challenging!

1: A song you know all the lyrics to.

I chose "LDLHA-IBCSYWA" by Twiztid. I love this song and this is the only song that makes me really cry (and I mean legitimately in tears). Usually when the song comes on, I sing to it because I can relate to the sentiments in this song very well. That's how I often feel, especially for a majority of the time this year.

2: A song from the first album you ever bought (what was the album).

Korn's "Follow the Leader" was the first album I bought unedited and with my own money back in 2003. I was so happy when mom finally allowed me to listen to unedited songs. I still love this song very much and after September and November, I feel the sentiment of the song very well. I listened to this song a lot in 2013 (right next to Twiztid). In fact, this album and "Abominationz" were the two main albums in my CD walkman this fall.

3: A song that reminds you of a night out (when was it and where).



This was the first event I went to as a National Constitution Center member. The day I joined, I saw the advertisements and heard the music promoting the 1968 exhibit. That exhibit rocked and I enjoyed the night. The Strictly 60s band, which played music for Retro-Rama, was AMAZING!
Retro-Rama 2013

4: A song you can remember your parents listening to.

Both of my parents love Fleetwood Mac and "Rhiannon" is one of my favorite songs by them. I rediscovered this song this summer because the lyrics are poetic and amazing.

5: A song a friend likes, but you don't.

Haha, Christina and I went to see Aaron Carter in March at the Note. Not my favorite person, but like I wrote: I enjoyed Petrel and it;s always a good time at the Note. :D

6: A novelty song.

I remember hearing this song at my first tailgate before my first Green Bay Packers game for my first time in Green Bay, WI. I first went in 2011 and again in 2012. I listen to this song before every Packers game and it didn't change yesterday. :D

7: One of your favorite songs.

My absolute favorite song off of "A New Nightmare," I was Monoxide from the "Down With Us" video for Halloween. Such a fun costume and everyone thought it was creative. I sing this song at the top of my lungs and it usually cheers me up. Sweet! I just watched the video again and carefully: I did get the exact same jersey as Monoxide! Prince Fielder. Sadly, Fielder was traded after the Tigers (unfortunately) lost to the Red Sox.

8: A song with a wind instrument.

My mom is a Jethro Tull fan, haha. I always laugh when this song plays on the radio.

9: Take your age and reverse the numbers. Now find an artist of that age (for example: 23=32).

Jon Davis is 42 (I'm 24), woohoo! Anyway, "Never, Never" is a single off of Korn's new album "The Paradigm Shift." When I was looking for the Twiztid CDs back in October (October 8th to be exact), that was the release of the new album. I didn't have the money to buy it then, but maybe after I move I will buy the album. :)

10: A song from one of your favorite albums (what album is it).

"Unstoppable" became my anthem in November because it reminded me that I should never give up on myself and it made me stronger. "Abominationz" is one of my favorite albums because it's genius and one of the few albums I can listen to from start to finish.

11: A song from a video game.

I love Guitar Hero and this song is in "The Legends of Rock."

12: A song from any dead artist.


I've always loved this song and I love this Unplugged performance by Nirvana. I have felt like I've let down some people this year, especially earlier in the year, and I feel like I owe them an apology, but I'm not really sure if I can apologize for just being me. That's what this song reminds me of.

13: A song about summer.


I've always secretly loved this song. It's just so catchy. In fact, I haven't listened to this song in a while -- sadly, mom's station only plays this song sometimes in the summer.

14: A song about the weather or season.

Another song I've always liked... okay, I will admit I like the Mamas and the Papas. I can listen to this at any season because it matches my desire to get away. Not to Cali, but just to the Midwest.

15: A song you hate.

Yeah...

16: A song you like, but a friend hates.

I think it was this summer that Grunge Girls posted this video to Facebook. I have always loved this song and loved the video. Colleen, a Facebook friend and a co-worker of mom's in Chicago, just joined Pearl Jam's Ten club, so I posted this song to her wall. Turns out she wasn't a fan of the song.

17: A song about a city.

I'm not a KISS fan (sue me, okay, lol), but Old School played this at the Halloween party at the Whitpain and since I was Monoxide, it totally fit the mood. I'm also looking for work there and planning to move to either Detroit proper, Livonia or Roseville (depending on prices and where I can get housing).

18: A song from the year you were born.

I was born in 1989 and according to Music Outfitters, "18 and Life" by Skid Row was #61 on the Billboard Top 100. This was the song that introduced me to Skid Row back in 2004 and it's now reminding me that I need to upload this song to my iPod.

19: A song you think most people would like.

I've always loved this song: "No Excuses" by Alice in Chains. When I would make mixes for people, this was always put on the mixes and people tended to love this song. :)

20: A good 80s song.

A favorite! Back in July, when I went to the Turks Head Music Festival, the School of Rock covered this song. Amazing. :D

21: A song with a name in it.

I rediscovered "Helena" by My Chemical Romance this summer when I was talking to Louis one day. Another reminder to buy this song for my iPod.

22: A song that is over 7 minutes long.

I've always loved "In A Gadda Da Vida" by Iron Butterfly. At 17 minutes long, this song was always fun to listen to at work. :D

23: A song with no lyrics.

Beethoven is the man!

24: A good 70s song.

This is the song that got me into Skynyrd and this summer when I traveled to Baltimore, "Sweet Home Alabama" was the first song I played on my iPod on Amtrak.

25: A song you would ask a DJ to play at a party.

I heard of Johnny Richter through Twiztid's "Wasted," liked his style and wanted to check out Kottonmouth Kings. "Cruizin" was the first result and I LOVE this song. I'll have to give other KMK songs a listen later, but I really like this song and I think it'd make a good party song.

26: A good 60s song.

I love the Doors and this has to be one of my favorite songs by them.

27: A song with a number in it.

Dad and I get a good laugh at Lil Wayne's "6 Foot, 7 Foot." It's still on my iPod from when I made him a CD last Christmas (I bought it from iTunes, so it stayed) and I listened to it a lot this summer. Some of the lyrics make me laugh like "real G's move in silence like lasagna."

28: A song with a cautionary tale.

"Wasted" was another song I liked off of Twiztid's "A New Nightmare." I always thought this song was funny, but after a close call, it reminds me that I need to be careful.

29: The last song you heard on the radio.

Mom and dad have the classic rock station on in the kitchen and I can hear it clearly. This is the last song they played before the myriad of commercials.

30: One of the songs you have liked the longest.

"Adam's Song" by blink-182 was the first song I discovered in June 2000 through J-14 magazine. I listened to it soon after and have loved the song since then. I recently put it on my updated iPod.

31: If you were having a party for your birthday, this song has to be played.

I love "Fiction (Dreams In Digital)" by Orgy. It was amazing to hear this song live back in March and it would definitely have to be played at my birthday.

32: A song on the current charts that you like the most.


Such a great song by Pearl Jam. So glad they released a CD this year. :)

33: A really short song.

Because I love Invader Zim and when Gir sings "The Doom Song." I found it on a mix I made dad in 2003 and put it on my iPod when I updated it in September.

34: A song performed by an actor/actress.

"Zydrate Anatomy" from Repo! The Genetic Rock Opera has both Alexa Vega and Paris Hilton. One of my favorite movies. :)

35: A song from a classic rock band.

One of my favorite Led Zeppelin songs, "Kashmir" is brilliant.

36: The Eurovision Song Contest winner from the year you were born (1956+).

Interesting. I've never heard this song before: "Rock Me" by Riva (May 1989).

37: Worst song you have in your collection.


"#Stupidfacedd" by Wallpaper. is so bad that it's funny. Christina and Deanna would always play it on Christina's radio show and I had to download it.

38: A song that gets you motivated.

I'm not sure why "Thy Unveiling" by Insane Clown Posse gets me motivated, but it does.

39: The first random song to come to you.

I love "Missed Me" by the Dresden Dolls and I listened to this song a lot in November. Ironically, this was a random song I remembered from 9th grade back in 2011 and bought on iTunes for my iPod. It's still on my iPod.

40: A song from the 1950s.

I love Stonewall Jackson, especially "Waterloo." I saw him on an infomercial back in 2010 and had to download. I repurchased his songs back in August with the new laptop. I always sing along to this song.

41: A song you can remember from when you were at school.

Since I'm a recent graduate, I want to take it back to earlier this year: here is Petrel and the song Christina played on her radio show. I can relate.

42: A song with an animated video.

"Clint Eastwood" by the Gorillaz was the first thing to come to my mind.

43: A song that was number one for any year of your birthday.


Because both of these awful songs were at the top of the charts on July 4, 2013. ::shudders::

44: If you were to release an album, this song would be on it.

"Brackish" is one of my Kittie favorites.

45: A song by someone who is the opposite sex than you and a different race than you, PLUS the same age as you.

I've never listened to Kamal Khan, I Googled male singers that are my age and he popped up. Definitely worth a listen.

46: A good song from the 2000s.

"We Don;t Die" is what introduced me to Twiztid back in 2003. This was the second song (after Darkness, which is another good song from the 2000s) I listened to that reintroduced them to me.

47: The worst song by one of your favorite artists/bands.

I have to say that "Applause" is one of the worst Lady Gaga songs I have heard. It was released at the end of Summer 2013 and all I can say is, I hope Lady Gaga isn't washed up.

48: A song you can remember from an advert (what was the advert)?

I actually love "I Love It" by Icona Pop. I first heard it in a DSW Shoe Warehouse commercial.

49: A song you think an artist should cover (which artist?).

I love "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie. Since Twiztid performed with Rob Zombie in October, I think Twiztid should cover this song. That or Rob Zombie's "Living Dead Girl" (another favorite).

50: A song you think everyone has forgotten.

"About a Girl" by Nirvana, although Kurt does say, "This is off our first album, most haven't heard it." Bleach was released in 1989 and it was such a great album (I should find it, I have it somewhere... then upload it to my iPod).

51: A good summertime song.

I will always associate "In Too Deep" by Sum 41 with the Wildwood Boardwalk in 2001 when it was played all the time.

52: Worst Christmas number ever.

I had this on my iPod before it was updated, needless to say it got on my nerves quickly. I think nan had this record too, lol.

53: A feel good song.

"Hicktown" by Jason Aldean always makes me feel good. I was so happy when a band covered it at the Turk's Head Music Festival.

54: A song from an artist/band you'd love to see live (even if they're not alive).

I'd love to see Twiztid live and I'm hoping to when I move (as well as meeting them, especially Mono... I want to give Mono a big hug!). However, I'm also going to break the rules a bit as well and post another video. I saw Alice in Chains in 2010 and the Layne replacement wasn't bad, however, I would love to see Alice in Chains with Layne:


55: A song from the last artist/band you saw live.

Orgy was the last band I saw live... back in March.

56: A song from the Rolling Stones Greatest Guitarists List.

"Fire" by Jimi Hendrix is one of my favorite songs by him. I need to borrow that CD again from the library and upload him to my iPod as well.

57: A song you discovered and loved from an advert.

Another song from a DSW Shoe advertisement. I really like "Let's Dance" by Chris Montez.

58: If I HAD to do Karaoke, this would be the song I'd choose.

I love this KMFDM song: "Today." When I updated my iPod, I wanted it again, but I noticed I bought it before on iTunes (probably a computer that crashed a while ago); fortunately Amazon came to the rescue! I'm thankful Luanne let me borrow her husband's KMFDM CDs. :D

59: For a laugh, I'd like to see someone choose this song for Karaoke.

Because we all love "Pray With Snakes" by Boondox. :D

60: A song that has a dance to go with it.

I like Twiztid's take on the "Harlem Shake." That song annoyed me so much... I think the only dance song that didn't annoy the crap out of me was "Macarena" back in 1996 (I was 7... so maybe that's why...)

61: I think this is the most famous song by the artist/band I like.

I've always liked "Raining Blood" by Slayer. I might learn how to play it... I think I attempted it once.

62: Out of all the Christmas songs, I like this one the most.

Trans Siberian Orchestra is a great Christmas band.

63: You got to listen to this song, it's wicked.

Steven told me about "Nervous" by ABK. When I feel stressed, I like to listen to this song. It's a great relief.

64: A song you think hardly anyone has listened to before.

I'm not even sure how I found "No Pity On the Ants" by Lupara. I might have been bored on iTunes one day and found it. I started to learn how to play it on the guitar.


65: A duet where both of the singers are the same sex.

Aww man, I almost forgot about this song. This used to be my favorite song when I was 12. Now I'm listening to it and eh, I dunno why I liked the song. However, I still like Eminem's material from "Slim Shady LP" and "Marshall Mathers LP."

66: A Disney song.

I love Alice In Wonderland and I love the Flowers' song. I enjoyed listening to this song as well as the Cheshire Cat song this year while still employed at my school job.

67: The first line from a song I like, what is it? (Lyrics only)
"This isn't a road to the bottomless pit of my soul."

68: A song in the charts 10 years before you were born.

The Knack's "My Sharona" was always catchy to me and it was released in 1979.

69: A song with a sexy video.

I've always loved White Snake's "Here I Go Again." I think this counts enough, lol.

70: A song you'd sing when drunk.

I probably would sing "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga. I;ve seen plenty of people I know sing this song while drunk.

71: A song by an artist with the same first/last name as you.

I was never a Jessica Simpson fan, but I do remember "Irresistible" in middle school.

72: A song from a soap star turned singer, that you think no one else would post.

Ah yes, Rick Springfield and "Jessie's Girl." I think we all sing along to this song, even if we hate it!

73: A song that reminds you of a past event in your life (what is the event?).

I've always loved Hole's "Malibu," but the whole song reminds me of my brief relationship with Steven, especially the lines: "And the sun goes down, I watch you slip away. And the sun goes down, I walk into the waves. And the sun goes down, I watch you slip away. And I would, and I knew that love would tear you apart. Oh, I knew the darkest secret of your heart."

74: A song from a genre of music you don't know much about (what's the genre?).

I love Deadmau5, but I don't know much about dubstep. "Ghosts N Stuff" is my absolute favorite and they played this at the Brewers game!

75: A good duo song.

I love White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" and I think it's an awesome song.

76: A weird song.

I like "Dunkelheit" by Burzum, but it is a bit strange. I believe Count Grishnackh recorded this in prison after murdering Euronymous. I think he's due to be released next year since it's only 22 years in Norway.

77: A song by an artist/band that is from or near where you live.

Julie told me about Whitney Peyton, who is from Philadelphia. I like the song "I'm Sorry That I'm Not Sorry."

78: A song that was number 1 from the year you were 10.

Cher's "Believe" was #1 in 1999. Not a fan of that song, but if I remember correctly it was about her newly deceased husband, right?

79: A song from an artist/band that has a weird dress sense.

I've always loved the Cure. "Friday, I'm in Love" is totally a favorite and I just love their style.

80: A song about an animal(s).

This song "The Fox" by Ylvis annoys me, but it's the only one that came to mind. Grumpy Cat sums this song up nicely, though:


81: An 80s pop song you hated.

"Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood is not a favorite of mine.

82: The National Anthem should be changed to this song.

Why not? I think "American Pie" still captures the American spirit a bit.

83: A song with good artwork on the single/album cover sleeve (which album?).

I've always loved the album cover for "Sehnsucht" by Rammstein. I also love the "Engel" video.

84: A song that reminds you of an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

Ironically, my last ex (from four years ago) never returned "Come Clean" by Puddle of Mudd to me. I have to buy the album again, but "Blurry" was always a favorite and remind me of both of my exes. Fortunately, both of them lasted 3 months each and didn't have to put up with their drama for long.

85: A song that will get you on the dance floor.

I really like the beat to Cobra Starship's "Hot Mess." Only song I like by them.

86: A song by a gay/lesbian artist you like.

I've always really liked Otep, but "Blood Pigs" is one of my favorite songs by her.

87: A funny song that a bride should walk down to aisle to.

Haha, South Park's cover of "Poker Face" is the greatest. It would also be an ironic song to walk down the aisle to.:p

88: A song by an artist/band you hate.

Not a Bieber fan, but I remember I made a mix for a guy once and stupidly put on "As Long As You Love Me." Oi vei, what was I thinking? Especially an annoying song. >_<

89: We would win the next Eurovision if this was our song.

"Cowboys From Hell" is an amazing song by Pantera. I used to rock out on this song on the guitar all the time. It would definitely make us win! :)

90: A song you want to buy/download next.

I actually have "Won't Tell" by Babes In Toyland on a CD from 8th grade and I really like it.

91: A song for a romantic dinner.

I've always liked "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS.

92: A good song for a breakup.

"Bye Bye Beautiful" by Nightwish is perfect.

93: A ska song.

Reel Big Fish, ftw! "A Little Doubt Goes a Long Way" is definitely my favorite.

94: A song by an artist/band that you think is over-rated.

Not a Beyonce fan and I think she's a bit over-rated. I definitely think "Single Ladies" is overrated.

95: A song you think that would be hard to learn to play on an instrument.

I have a feeling that "Bloodline" by Slayer would be hard to play.

96: How funny would this be if they played this at service station toilets?

I for some reason like "Go Hard (La.La.La)" by Kreayshawn for the catchiness, but it would be ironic!

97: If they made a film about my life, this song would be in the end credits.

"Strawberry Gashes" by Jack off Jill.

98: I dedicate this song to a friend of mine (who is the friend?).

"The World I Know" by Collective Soul is dedicated to everyone who reads my blog. :)

99: Every child should listen to this song to appreciate good music.

There's a lot of good music out there and as someone who listens to most genres I could go on forever, but this song means a lot to me: "Lift Me Up" by Twiztid.

100: I have completed "The 100 day song challenge" so for no reason I can post this song just because I can.


I hope you enjoyed this entry! This is my last entry for 2013 as tomorrow I'm taking off to look for more jobs in Detroit, look at places to live in Livonia (see if the burbs are cheaper than the city) and to watch the Twilight Zone marathon as I've been doing for the past 10 years. Love that tradition. If you haven't already, please check out 2013- A Life Changing Year. Happy New Year!






Sunday, December 29, 2013

2013: A Life Changing Year

My 2013 started at the XFinity Center with Joyce, Ashley and Jenni. Maybe that set the tone for the year because the night was really depressing. I felt really fat and unattractive; I told myself that this would be the year I'd lose weight and slowly get off of psych meds (focusing only on thyroid health and general health). Here is how my year went; some of it was happy, some of it sad with the death of nan, I found out who my friends are and I rekindled my love for Twiztid even more. Please sit back and enjoy the journey that made 2013 an interesting and unforgettable year.

January: The biggest event of this month was nan getting really sick on the 23rd and passing away on the 25th. Mom and dad didn't want me to watch her die (they said I was there for her all throughout her life and illness; they wanted me to remember her in her good state) and I went to China Town and hung out with Christine. It snowed that day and I just remember the whole day being dazed: nothing felt weird because I guess too much was on my mind. She was buried on the 31st and it was amazing to see how many people attended. Nan was a crossing guard for 12 years, until October 2012, and a lot of the kids she used to cross also were in attendance. Nan was a loved person and I could see why: she was very loving and accepting. It was really hard to lose her and it still affects me.

China Town/ South Street (Getting Pierced)/ Academy of Natural Sciences
In Memory of Nan

Lily of the Valley

May was your favorite month,
Not only because you were born the forth;
“take a look behind the house,”
You’d always say to me until June:
“we can pick these for your teachers,”
Lily of the Valley was always your favorite.
We’d sit for hours in the side garden and talk to the Conners,
And laugh for hours about who knows what.
The Lily of the Valleys smelled lovely too—
That perfume scent filled your house,
White bells next to daffodils and pink flowers
Sit atop the table next to the TV,
Staying there well until June;
Even after death they smelled lovely,

Secretly they’re my favorite too.

January also brought the NFL Playoffs. The Packers sadly lost to the 49ers, but the Ravens made it to the Super Bowl! I also started my last Spring semester at West Chester University (I applied to graduate in December 2013) and was approved to write travel articles for the Quad, although it only lasted for a month.



February: THE RAVENS WON THE SUPER BOWL! It was an awesome game because they trounced on the 49ers in the first half, but then the electricity went out after half time that delayed the game for a half an hour. After the electricity came back on, the 49ers caught up and dad and I were biting our nails. The Browns, who are huge 49ers fans, were happy. The Ravens pulled it off in the end, winning by three points. The Browns' Super Bowl party was amazing and fun. It's always a good time with them and I'm happy they are our neighbors. It was also Mike's birthday, so we celebrated that. 

This was one of Mike's birthday gifts. It was great. We all drank his concoction: Bizz Berry which was vodka, some berry flavoring and another alcohol I believe. It was good, haha.




I also met someone new in February. This was the first person I met and became friends with on bus 104. His name is Patrick and he's in the Army. Really nice guy and he helped me out with the photography class I signed up for (and audited) in Spring 2013. He and Christina posed for pictures. That was so much fun. I think it was obvious, however, that I had a crush on him. It was short lived, though. I think that's when I realized crushes were too much for me and I have social anxiety. He invited me to hang out in the middle of the month and we saw Zero Dark Thirty. That was such a great movie. Then he invited me to hang out with his friends and we ended up going to a pool hall. I learned how to (sorta) play pool, but I was a nervous wreck. It probably didn't help that I was getting off of Abilify and Lamictal (which was the downfall because I ended up freaking out on the withdrawal and stopped talking to a whole bunch of people). 


Anyway, I think the highlight of this month was the photography class and learning how to use film. I really loved developing it and was so glad that dad still had his SLR film camera.


Two of the images from film. These are my favorite. :)

Of course I enjoyed the digital aspect as well, as that is what I'll be using all the time (film was fun, but don't have the money or space to have a darkroom): The Photography Life.

March: March was all about the music and the Note. At the beginning of March, Christina won tickets to Aaron Carter and asked me to go along with her. I'm not a fan of Aaron Carter, but I'm glad I went. One of the bands, Petrel, performed and I really liked them. I also met their drummer, Nick. He was really cool and let me pose with him for a picture.


That was the weekend I spent the whole weekend in West Chester with Christina. I always loved being a guest on Christina's show and her time slot was from 8-10pm on Saturdays. Before her show there was another show going on and they were giving away free tickets to see Orgy at the Note on March 26. I called in and won the tickets! When Christina and I went on the 26th, it was such a fun time. It was so nice to see Orgy because Orgy (along with Twiztid and ICP and Kittie and Otep) was my band in Middle School. I also really enjoyed Davey Suicide and met the guys of My Parasites. I'm still friends with Frank and he's such a good person.


Also, I was put on Risperadol this month and that started six months worth of being depressed. Blah. :\ At least I said no to lithium. Also, my thyroid was in check, but it was the last time at the King of Prussia doctor's office (I wanted a doctor, not a nurse practitioner). 

I tried my hand at Flag Football, which started on 3-24. I was put on a team called the Outlaws. I was the only girl on the team, which set the tone for the month.



Team Uniform


Lastly, I went to the Philadelphia Zoo, which was the first time back since I was a kid. It was during Spring Break and I decided I wanted to take animal pictures for my photography class. Sadly, that's when I decided to audit the class and she wasn't a fan of the pictures. However, I had fun and really enjoyed my day out. Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

April: Sadly, flag football didn't last. I stepped out on April 14. If I would have left a week earlier, I could have been refunded. My team was very exclusive and since they were all friends, they didn't really treat me as one of the team: I was the outsider. I didn't like always being yelled at or feeling like a black sheep, so I left. If I play again and if I have the time in Detroit, I might look for an all girl league or sign up with the friends I make when I'm there. I was sad about it. :'( But, I knew it was the right decision as I was feeling burnt out with school too.

SEPOS Convention at the Academy of Natural Sciences. SEPOS stands for the Southeastern Pennsylvania Orchid Society and they have an annual convention, but this was the first time at the ANS. Usually it's held in Longwood Gardens. I took a half a day of school and arrived at noon. It was so beautiful and so interesting to learn about orchids. I've always loved orchids, especially when Great Uncle Mario grew them, but I knew they were always a pain to take care of.


The Civil War reenactors came back to West Chester University! It wasn't publicized well this year, but I was so happy to see them on the Quad. I stayed for a few of the lectures and it was just great. :D


The end of April had some really nice events: Bear and Friends Tea at the Lincoln Room, which is always a good time. I brought Wesley, mom brought her Pooh Bear and dad just himself (his Rolly Polly was lost when nan, his dad and dad moved out of their old house in 1973). After the tea, we went to visit Aunt Peg and Uncle Tom's bees. They had purchased bees and a hive a week before. They started it to harvest their own honey.


I also bought my Ravens ticket and planned my trip to Baltimore for August. This was my first time using StubHub to purchase a game ticket and I will continue using that service. I bought the tickets for really cheap! Thanks to Dave for telling me about the site. :)

May: The end of my last Spring semester and the last semester of being full time. I would only need one class (and signed up for the one class) in the fall and then graduation. It was a big weight lifted off of my shoulder. On the last day of the semester, Friday, May 10, I went off to see Grid Alive! I have always loved Grid magazine and wanted to see it. It was being held at a church in Philadelphia. I decided the adventure through Rittenhouse Square because I have never been there before. That was so beautiful; I loved the goat statue. :D Then I went to Infinite and had my left tragus pierced, then off to Devil's Den, which Louis told me about, and ordered an absinthe and a sandwich. The food was really good. :) Then it was off to the church to Grid Alive! That was a really neat experience and I enjoyed meeting the staff. Nice people.



Over Memorial Day weekend, I became a member of the National Constitution Center! ^_^ To end May, I met up with Dave and we saw the Milwaukee Brewers play the Philadelphia Phillies. It was my first time at Citizen's Bank Park (Philadelphia) and the Brewers won! It was also nice seeing Dave because I hadn't seen him since August 2012 when we were in Milwaukee. He lives in Staten Island, so it was nice. :)


June: June was a pretty laid back month. Since I went to Broad Street Bullies before the Brewers game, I actually won a happy hour, which surprised me. I invited Louis and we met up. We stayed there for two hours and then went to Devil's Den. I really like that place. :) I ended up getting home at 12:30 am, I missed the other train and had to wait an hour. That was okay, though. The next day I ventured back into the city, but this time with my parents. We went to Fogo da Chao for Father's Day. We all really enjoyed the place. Father's Day 2013

I also went to The Elmwood Park Zoo in Norristown, PA on June 22nd. It was my first time there since 2001. The last time I was there, it was the weekend before 9/11 and I went with Aunt Kathy to volunteer to help clean the zoo up. For the summer, EPZ brought in giraffes and people could feed them. That was so much fun and I also enjoyed the Jacob sheep/goats. I just love zoos. ^_^ Elmwood Park Zoo Adventures (album)Elmwood Park Zoo Adventures (blog).

To end the month, I went to my first Mega Bad Movie Nights at the Academy of Natural Sciences. It was the movie, Night of the Lepus. The movie was so bad and the commentary was great. It was an awesome time. ^_^





July: My birth month. I turned 24 on July 4th. This year I just stayed home and celebrated with mom's side of the family. It was a laid back day; we catered from Famous Dave's and then set off fireworks once the sun went down. My busy day was on the 5th when I went into the city: the Franklin Institute and Penn's Landing.


I was so happy that I had the opportunity to meet up with Tori on the 10th. :) I hadn't seen her in such a long time. She's a cousin from dad's side. Louis canceled our get together the day before. I had a crush on him (I figured why not try a crush again, but this time on a different person... didn't work out as the same thing happened again, but we are just friends), so I was disappointed and sorta blew up on him. Anyway, I met up with Tori at the Mexican Post on Cherry St. in Philadelphia. It was nice catching up and the food was amazing. The pomegranate margarita was also to die for. :)

July also brought the Browns' 25th wedding anniversary and their party. They are such sweet, lovely people and I'm glad we had the opportunity to celebrate their anniversary with them. Sadly, the day was hot. The next day was the Turk's Head Music Festival at Everhart Park in West Chester. Fun as always. :)







August: I went to the Bug Fest at the Academy of Natural Sciences. That was so much fun; I tried the chocolate chirp cookies, but that's all I was brave enough to try. I enjoyed the cook off too with other bug recipes. I learned a lot about the different species. My uncle and aunt went the next day and Uncle Tom was much braver than me (this is taken from my Aunt's facebook):





Middle of the month: I was bored and decided to search for Daniel. I found him on Google+. I added him to a few of my cirlces and he added me back. We started talking, caught up (as it's been 12 years) and we're still in touch. :)


Beavis and Butthead

Dad and Daniel would watch Beavis and Butthead
while I was in the living room playing Barbie
and nan was in the kitchen making her pasta.
I would listen to Beavis and Butthead's dumb laughter,
plotting to get laid, I didn't understand back then;
I was five, but I thought it sounded funny.
Dad and Daniel would crack up 
and comment how stupid they were,
but they were so easy to relate to, especially on MTV;
laughing as we waited for nan's homemade pasta
with homemade tomato sauce.

Nowadays it is dad and I that watch Beavis and Butthead,
while mom carries on nan's tradition;
we laugh and laugh; mom ignores us,
she hates the show, but we love the stupidity,
and although we wish new episodes were aired,
we are somewhat glad they never made new ones:
it brings me back to 1994 or 1995
when things were simple, safe and the music rocked
in the protection of nan's red brick house. 

BALTIMORE! I took Amtrak for the first time and it was amazing! I prefer that to flying. I'm thinking of taking Amtrak to Detroit when I get a job interview and then move. I know they do go out West, I just have to check Detroit and the price. Anyway, it was an hour ride to Baltimore's Penn Station. I arrived at 9 am, I couldn't check into my hotel until 3 pm. I was allowed to leave my things there; I went to Miss Shirley's, then the Baltimore Civil War Museum, an art museum and then to my hotel to relax until the game at 8 pm. I charged my phone and got ready for the game. I decided to leave for Pickle's Pub at 6 pm and the place was to DIE FOR! 

The Baltimore Ravens game, although they lost, was absolute fun! The company mom works for supplied the forms to build M&T Bank Stadium in 2003. It was my first time there and I wanted to take dad (as I owe him a game since he's the big Ravens fan), but he had taxes to serve for work. I sat next to a really sweet couple and talked to the guy. He was wearing an old Baltimore Colts jersey (which is the last Baltimore game dad went to back in 1973... dad was always a Baltimore fan) and we talked for a bit. It was just an amazing experience. I also enjoyed the pre-game festivities on the Ravens walk where I had the opportunity to meet the cheerleaders and the actual ravens birds.


The next day I woke up early, took my thyroid medicine, but then I fell back to sleep (I guess the 3 pints of strawberry daiquerie hit me and made me sleep extra) and woke up at 8. I had to hurry to eat breakfast and get dressed since my ticket for the aquarium was for 9am. It didn't take me long and the walk to the aquarium was nice. I was so excited because the last time I was there was in 2010. I have always loved that place and I was so happy to see the black reef coral, the newer display. I just loved seeing all the fish, Calypso (the turtle) and the wildlife in the Amazon exhibit. They are such an amazing aquarium and do great work rehabilitating animals and releasing them. Baltimore Aquarium Pictures.

After the aquarium, I went to the National Museum of Dentistry. It was really cool and I would definitely recommend going there. I learned a lot about teeth, procedures and everything else about the field. It's part of the University of Maryland. 


After I was finished at the B & O Railroad Museum, I took the Charm City Circulator (I had been a frequent on that bus my whole stay because it was free and it had decent service) and talked to a guy who had moved to Baltimore a year before. He was from the Midwest and a Vikings fan, so we had an interesting conversation about the Packers and Vikings. We got off at the same stop and he wanted me to stop by his restaurant, but I didn't hear him correctly, so I didn't go. Instead I ate at Boog's at the Camden Yards and saw the Orioles. Again, another fun game. I find that the atmosphere of baseball games are so much different than football games: it more lax. The Orioles won! :)

I'm not a beer fan, but I wanted to try a Natty Boh. It used to be brewed in Baltimore.


The Tuesday after my return I started my final semester at West Chester University with one class (and that class was novel writing). I would only be there twice a week for work and class; library three days a week.


September: Let the rough times begin! I finally got off the Risperadol, thank god! However, I ran into Nick at the library and we hung out. Sadly, he had one thing on his mind and started kissing me. I told him to get off and he could sense I was uncomfortable. He gave me his number, which was prepaid, and I never got ahold of him. Turned out he had a girlfriend. I felt like I was at an all time low, but that would be replaced to by what happened to me in November (I'll get into that later... I've decided to bare all about that). I was angry and in that anger, I rediscovered Twiztid when Darkness popped up on my iPod. Mom and dad bought me a Windows 8 in August and I hadn't updated my iPod in four years. I always loved Darkness and I loved Twiztid in middle and high schools, so I decided that I would YouTube them and I did that Thursday in the office. I fell in love with them again and I was so happy when I found the copy of Freek Show I burned in 8th grade from a classmate. I updated my iPod for the first time in 4 years. As a teen, I loved Madrox, now it's all about Monoxide. It's actually become an acute (okay, HUGE) obsession. :D




However, I did do some adventuring. At the end of the month, mom, dad and I went to Green Lane Park. I took some pictures for the ForgeUrPostCard contest for Valley Forge Park. It's a beautiful park.


October: I ended up auditing the novel writing class. I knew I didn't need it when going into the semester, but I decided to take it because I wasn't sure what it would do to graduation. I talked with the registrar and I was okay to drop it (I had 150 credits already... 120 is all that is needed... and my GPA was 3.1) or audit. I was just going to take my sweet time with the novel. October became more of the month of Twiztid. When mom and dad went to Florida, I was left home alone for a week. I bought "A New Nightmare" and "Abominationz" the Tuesday they were gone and the Twiztid tank I ordered came that Wednesday. I was so happy. ^_^





On 10/14 I decided that I would be Monoxide from the Down With Us video for Halloween! I ordered the Detroit Tigers jersey he wears in the video and decided to check out the Tigers. They're another baseball team I admire and love. They even made the playoffs, but they lost to the Red Sox. :( Anyway, Halloween was AMAZING and everyone loved my costume.

Me in the Down With Us makeup (10/26) with Old School.

Halloween Day (me with classic Mono paint). This is the day I saw Brandon, he loved my costume, wanted me to hang out (even said, "we can listen to ICP, I have it on my iPod), but I said I had to be home for candy duty and had a Skype date with Steven.

This is when I met Steven on Instagram. We started talking and became really close. He gave me opinions on my makeup and absolutely loved it. We developed crushes on one another.

November: On November 2nd Steven told me he loved me. I was ecstatic because I loved him too. It started with me asking, "have you ever fallen hard for someone?" and he replied, "Not until now." "Same." Then he said, "I think I'm falling in love, like real love." I said, "Yeah, me too." "Aww, I love you." And well, you know how that goes...

I feel so happy in this picture because I felt so happy with Steven.


Sadly, it doesn't last. On Wednesday, November 5th he had something happen to him. I was at work and he texted me freaking out. The library was busy and I had a later break. I tried to console him, but I failed. I told him I had to get back to work and I'd be done in an hour. Well, he never answered me and I supposedly got his sister. I was upset, which prompted this blog post. I thought the next day would be better, but boy was I wrong. He tells me something and we get into a huge fight, in which he tells me I am uncaring, I never cared about him and threatens to kill himself. I sent him a bunch of texts, called him three times and left him messages. No answer. I am freaking out and when I get done work (which I took a 30 minute break from to call and text because I was so worried) I decided I wanted to go to the cupcake place in West Chester because I crave sweets when I'm upset. Well, the coffee bar owner is working and I start ranting about the situation (I didn't tell her everything going on...as I won't post here because even though it didn't work out, I respect Steven's privacy). Then Brandon and the other owner's husband walk in. They exclaim, "you look awful!" So, I tell them. Brandon gives me a big hug, then tells me I give good hugs. I replied, "Yeah, I hear that a lot. When I get home, I need a drink." He asked, "Well, what's stopping you now?" "I have a bus to catch at 5, which is a half an hour from now." "We'll make it quick." He gets the card from the owners and takes me to Barnaby's. I order my usual: a Jack and coke. He orders a beer and then a shot. He then orders me a shot, asks me what shot I want and I love Jager. Barnaby's doesn't have that, so I said I'd try what Brandon was having. He asked if I liked it and I did. We talk a bit and I obsess about Steven, then he brings up my Packers jacket and says, "I should hate you. I hate the Packers. I'm from Seattle and I'm a Seahawks fan." I just laughed because I thought he was kidding like all sports fans do. I think he bad mouths Steven too. He orders me another shot. I look at my watch, say I have to go and ask for his number. He said he'd take me home, so I call dad to tell him someone is taking me home and I'd be home later. Brandon is upset I didn't toast him, so I believe he orders me another Fireball whiskey shot (shot 3 of that) and another Jack and coke. At one point, he has me call Steven from his phone (he asked before we got to the bar, which in the same breath he asked if Steven and I ever had sex, I said no but I love him and want to work on it, and he replies how could you love someone without sex... anyway, I refused to use his phone when sober to call Steven) and I did, but no answer. I'm upset. He didn't really drink his beer, so he has me chug it and then we leave. I'm feeling it. He asks if I want to go home, I'm upset from Steven and the week I had been having, so I said no. He said we'd hang out, but he wanted to get something because he hated Jack. Well, he ended up buying Jack and gave me a few shots, a Pepsi and I don't remember much after that. What I do remember is so degrading; he yells at me for being uncooperative, I'm getting sick all over his place and some other things. He degrades me when he kicks me out. I had to call a cab home and I pass out. The next day I realized I was shaved and left my Packers jacket, Pantera shirt and underwear there. A few days later I'm spotting and it's just really bad. I'm sore all over my body. However, I have a medical condition and couldn't prove he did anything. 

Things ended with Steven after that. He blocked me on Instagram and he was just so uncaring. When I go to the police, 4 days later to report, I text Steven for the number because I thought I called him. It was his friend and she blamed me for his suicide attempts and he was in the hospital. I'm sick to my stomach about the situation and about him, so I text him the next day asking if he was okay: nothing. Then I was put on three different antibiotics for infections and I'm depressed with having nightmares. He texts me a week later blaming me for his problems and for shooting up heroin the day he found out. I curse him out and block him. He accused me of being uncaring and I said, "Uh, no. I got into this mess because I cared too much about you and was worried sick." He didn't like it too much, but tough. It felt good to get that off of my chest.

I had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I'm glad I made it out of there alive. People thought I was drugged as well, but even if I wasn't, with how much I drank I'm lucky I didn't get alcohol poisoning. I ended up dropping out of the novel writing class, though it didn't matter since I audited. I just couldn't do it, especially with what my novel was going to be about. I also found out who my true friends are: I am thankful for everyone who was there for me. Here are my pictures from Thanksgiving and the week following it. This is when I am finally pulling out of my depression a bit and getting back into taking pictures.


Thanksgiving Morning. Mimi had been at my side ever since everything happened.

I never realized how much I loved this man. He and Madrox have helped me through some rough times over the years. I thought September I sank to an all time low, but November was even lower and hurt me A LOT more. Twiztid helped me through and they are still helping me through it.I am thankful. <3 p="">

So, to thank Monoxide, I sent him a Christmas card and sent him some pictures along with a 4 page letter to him and Madrox.


That was the first time in a month that I went to Wegmans with mom. I just didn't feel like going out. It took me a half an hour to find the perfect card for Monoxide and I was so happy when I found this.




An Ode to Monoxide Child
I remember the first time I fell for you,
Hanging out over the grave sight
With the cigarette in your hand
And your pale face with blackened eyes
Look me straight in my brown eyes.
My beloved Monoxide with crystal contacts
Floating around with Madrox on the magic Ouija board:
With crazy hair that changes with each tour—
From blue to red back to a dirty blonde.

But, you sealed the deal in Big Money Hustlas
As Lil Poot, whom I loved so much
And his antics with Big Stank
With the Magic, Magic Ninjas, what?
Or with the baby oil for Stank and Big Baby Sweets,
Your little rhyme about rubbing makes me blush.
Smiles decorated my face and laughter filled me,
You made the days of sitting alone in the office
Less lonely, you made life much better—
Not only with your jokes and puns,
But the fact you could understand how I felt
In your lyrics, I always felt they were written for me.

As a teenager, it was all about Madrox,
But as I age and listen to more of your albums
And write you letter after letter
With my neat handwriting with tons of emotion;
You sign your life away on a poster
That always brightens my day—

Monoxide, you are my Juggalo.


December: The case was dropped. Because they couldn't prove DNA and because I don't remember most of the night, they couldn't really do anything. He claimed it was all me and I just couldn't believe it, but how can you argue with things you can't remember and what I do remember, I can't prove? Despite the evidence bag of the clothes I did come home with, I couldn't really remember anything else. I wanted to cry, but I had to keep reminding myself that I'm lucky to be here talking since I couldn't even talk to order a cab and if my phone would have died... who knows. It also made me realize I am not happy here and when the Tigers posted job opportunities in Detroit, I decided to jump on it. I have since applied at the Detroit Zoo and have looked at rooms and studios. I'm really hoping for the zoo, but after the holidays I will be applying at other jobs. Mom isn't too thrilled, but this is something I need to do. I love the Midwest and after the assault, I found out who my friends were and most of them are in the Midwest. I want to be there. I think by seeing that Facebook post this was a Godsend from Nan. It's a sign that I need to do this and I want to do this. I want to start my life elsewhere, I want to grow, I want to explore and like I said, I love it out there.

The week before graduation, I decided to check out Elfreth's Alley Deck the Alley and the Zoo Noel. I also get pierced. I get a forward helix done at Infinite.


I am a West Chester University graduate! After 5.5 years, I'm so happy to be done and I can't wait to start my life. :)


I'm still so ecstatic about this! 

I also hear back from the ForgeUrPostCard contest and two of my images won! Whoop whoop! Even Christmas was beautiful, although it still felt sad without nan. However, I know that will take time and I am glad I have her memory and spirit with me. I know she will always help me. I've also lost weight and have been off most of my psych meds (just finishing up the Wellbutrin) and I have been content. I told the new doctor I would not be doing psych meds anymore as they made me angrier. I like him (and I hope a new doctor in a new place will be as good).

I wouldn't say 2013 was the best year, in fact I'd say it had a lot of challenges are downright heart-breaking moments, but it made me grow as a person and made me realize what I want in life. I'm excited to start my life and lately life has been great. I can honestly say since rediscovering Twiztid, the Juggalo family I have met have been great. They have been helpful and I'm glad to be apart of the family (thanks for being there!). The Packers just won, it seems like my luck is changing, and I can't wait to see when the Packers play the Lions. I know 2014 will be a great year and I can't wait to blog about every moment, opportunity and anything else that comes my way in the new year, especially when I embark on my new journey in a new place. :)



Happy New Years, dear readers!