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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Editing Becoming Green and Gold?

Yesterday my class critiqued my "Becoming Green and Gold?" short story. For the most part, it was well received. Of course I have to make some changes like "showing not telling" and some "grammar issues; watch the past/present!" I will be working on it. I already wrote some changes and I think it'll be brilliant. I am also doing some research--I love reading football books. Andrew, when I'm done, I'll send you the story in a PDF. :)

1 comment:

  1. What do you like about reading football books?
    I am clearing out my email, and I had this there from way-back-when, so why not comment while enjoying my nice cup of green/jasmine tea?
    It seems no one else has reacted as of yet. :/
    Lately both of my blogs have not had much reaction, either - I think most likely my readers are all busy, and it should pick back up around the holidays.

    As I recall from working on writing with you a summer or two ago, Jessica, those were two things you had problems with... (Showing not telling and verb consistency)
    My style of trying to describe things five different ways is inefficient, even if it takes care of showing and not telling EVENTUALLY.
    I don't know about a good word of advice regarding keeping to the same tense consistently. More practice in telling stories?

    I don't remember what exactly I wrote with you (I think something trivial) but I currently deal with boring my audience and how my style consists of these Ciceronian never-ending sentences - hence boring people before I've gotten my thought out completely.
    Latin certainly does not help with this, nor Russian - Tolstoy is so fulfilling to read, but his style is a bit contagious, even if we're communicating in English.

    My current research is tri-fold: the ancient Chinese economic system's usage of four different kinds of salt (sea-salt, well-salt, pond-salt, and earth-salt), Pontius Pilate and the political system of Rome around the change into the common era (to explain in Greek x_x eeee...), and the denouement of the Soviet Union in September of 1991 - REALLY that's code for whether command economies are viable in comparison with free-will ones.
    (Wikipedia tells me to spell it dénouement but I've read it without more often than with the cedilla)

    I am dealing with inability to grok Chinese. Russian I'm okay... (But only after Svetlana Anatolyevna has taught me for three years!) And Latin/Greek is acceptable for the moment. I think I am doing a little poorly in Latin at the moment, but I am caught up in Chinese, Russian and Greek! So naturally something needs to collapse...