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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Fun Day in Spring Lake, NJ

Had such a fun day with Taylor. I will write more about it tomorrow; here are some pictures.

FWD:Spring Lake

Spring Lake


Me in bathing suit

Friday, June 29, 2012

Spring Lake, NJ

This is where Taylor and I are going tomorrow if we don't get lost. It's a nice little town according to Google:,_New_Jersey

I'm so excited. ^_^ I'll be posting pictures. 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Cement Floor

Cement Floor

I sat upon the cement floor

as the clock struck four.

The sky was a crystal blue,

I remove myself from you--

the clouds were an amazing white,

birds, cardinals, made it less tight.

I sat upon the cement floor,

a yawn, relief unlike before--

the trees were a green and brown,

overlooking the hustle-bustle town

alive with the symphony of cars

in the distance, a cry so far.

I sat upon the cement floor,

I ignore that dreaded door;

Raising my hands to heaven,

always count to seven--

breathe in and out, out and in,

slowly exhale, the tingling wins.

I sat upon the cement floor,

spirits and clouds at my core.

Breathing becomes shallow,

yet I feel none of the tallow

the candles flicker

and drowned out are bickers.

I sat upon the cement floor,

No longer wanting that door--

I sit upon the gray in peace,

away from stress and pain, at least.

I say goodbye,

no more worries and cries.

Looking for a name

Mad Girl's Love Poem has become my favorite poem:

Mad Girl's Love Song

By Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;

I lift my lids and all is born again.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,

And arbitrary blackness gallops in:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed

And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:

Exit seraphim and Satan's men:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,

But I grow old and I forget your name.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;

At least when spring comes they roar back again.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

So, having the week I have been having, I made up my own little poem in homage, but I don't know what to call it:

I shut my eyes and I feel

your warm embrace, it reels

and suddenly I feel the bed,

I made you up inside my head.

I open my eyes and I see

and suddenly you call me,

your lovely blue eyes led,

I made you up inside my head.

Love is in my eyes,

blinded, I cry,

in you evil is bred;

I made you up inside my head.

Exit Cupid and Satan enters,

ravens fly around the center--

I wish I know what was said,

I made you up inside my head.

Red and orange waltz in;

blackness around me spins

and suddenly I drop dead,

I wish I made you up inside my head.

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Key to Happiness/ Storylines

The Key to Happiness

If there is no key,

Mother Theresa once said;

the door is always open

for happiness, wondering in my head,

I love the sentiment

and how it could be,

but maybe, just maybe

it has passed over me.

My heart has been closed,

the key has been lost;

or so it has seemed

that my heart has been tossed.

Yet, there is a glimmer of hope,

the door has not been found--

happiness sometimes looms

when despair does not pound.

So maybe Mother Theresa is right,

there is no key,

the door is always open,

you just have to be willing to see.

What I was going to write:

Look to my arm, she once said,

red lines against her white skin,

gather around my children

and take the story in.

I know you wonder

and they might scare you,

but there is a story,

you might have it too.

I was 19, just dumped,


in depression I stopped

What I settled on:


Look to my arm, she once said,

red lines against her skin;

there is always a story

just stop and take it in.

She was about 19,

depression ate her;

gaunt, her bones showed,

and growing was light fur.

She was exactly 21,

there was a name;

though painful,

it kept her tame.

Her small figure

quickly changed,

screams and tears,

97 to 150 range.

Her skin stretched and pocked,

but she is healthy, they said,

the stupid pills made her ugly

and it went to her head.

She tried to cut it away,

she tried and she tried,

only was there another condition,

frustration and more cries.

She was close to 23,

the redness pales,

to onlookers it's frightening;

behind it lies a tale.

Four Cornered Star (Pentagram)

Four Cornered Star (Pentagram)

Four Cornered Star

Four Cornered Star

One dreary day

in the month of June,

cares tucked away--

this little star

marks my arms,

covers the scars--

four points,

carefully drawn

blackness annoints

the circle wins

smeared out the star;

the purity of skin.

Yet, the star shows,

no longer hiding,

the tears that flow.

The memory remains,

where the pentagram lays,

strength slowly regains--

he is no longer there,

drown yourself in the blackness

of the pentagram and tears.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Drowning Glass

Drowning Glass
Jessica Marie

She drowns herself
in the transparent crystal,
she drowns herself
in tears and agitation;
the world lies to her,
this mirror is truthful--
she drowns herself
in her fat curves,
big breasts, swollen.
She drowns herself
in her sorrow--
she is no longer young.
She drowns herself
every morning
in the transparent crystal,
forgetting life and loved ones.
She drowns herself
in her screams and tears.

Saturday, June 23, 2012


Ironically, I found this today before my date. It was cute too and when it was said I couldn't help think of this meme. When Pat kissed me, he said, "well that was an awkward transition." I thought it was cute and sweet. We looked like a bunch of amateurs, lol. I had a great time today, though Alice (movie) wasn't the best. Hopefully we'll get to hang out this week.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Sitting down to Scrapbook

I'm finally sitting down to work on my scrapbook of pictures from the Civil War reenactment three weeks ago. When I finish pages, I will post them. ^_^

I had such a crappy week. Scrapbooking usually eases me and makes me feel better.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

No More Tears

I found a mix the other day that I made in 9th grade. It had the song by Ozzy Osbourne "No More Tears" and I had to write a poem told in the point of view of the woman after she is left. Here is the video of the song:

My poem:

No More Tears

He left me looking

at the hole in the sky;

in blackness, a bloodstain--

it is in his eyes,

the look I will never forget;

trustworthy, my love.

No more tears.

Release the doves,

no more tears--

choke on the quiet,

peace in the hallow;

don't forget to start a riot.

In no pity, he left me this way,

only to starve and leave me to die;

no more tears,

look into the cold of his eyes.

No more tears.

Monday, June 18, 2012

June 11, 2012 (poem)

June 11, 2012

Strolling down the alley,

sun highlighting my brown hair;

I don't know why, but I dillydally.

Heading toward the record shop,

out of the corner of my eye--

Vans, half priced, at me hops

and out of the other corner eye,

a Steelers jersey in Eagles territory!

Behind the jersey lies a guy,

"Hello," I say rather shyly--

"Hey, what's up," he responds happily;

"Are you from around here," said lively.

"No, no, I don't live too far though."

"I could tell, you're not so rude,

and you're rather lovely too."

Strolling down the alley, hand in hand,

from the record shop to the bus stop,

skateboard that lies above his waistband--

closely and out of the corner of my eye,

love is all I see,

but out of the other corner, I see goodbye.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

It All Starts With a Kiss

I am feeling a little sad today for reasons I don't want to get to, but Andrew knows all about the situation. I am just writing some ideas out for what could potentially be a poem.

It all starts with a kiss,
hot, passionate,
it melts your heart.
It all starts on his lips,
smoke from his
organic cigarettes,
yet it tastes invigorating--
the things you think
when infatuation
steals your heart.
It all starts with his kiss,
his lips against mine;
please hold me tight
and never let me go.
Yet, you're off in this distance,
fate laid its cruel fingers--
you're ousted out the door,
my baby, my darling,
no, no, please don't go.
It all starts with a kiss
on his perfect red lips
sweaty from sun
and stirrings deep inside.

FWD:My birthday cake

My birthday cake

Thursday, June 14, 2012


Sorry I haven't updated for the past few days. My attention has been shifted towards this guy I met the other day while I was walking to the Mad Platter. His name is Mike. He's really nice and chill.

I promise I will write later!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Elk Neck State Park

"Beware of the rocks' edges," the sign warned. Beware of the steep edges, I think to myself. I am afraid of heights; fortunately, the way the Chesapeake lies it does not seem like it is a drastic distance. I still stay away from the edges though and my stomach still churned.  Mom, dad and I look towards the Chesapeake and it is breathtaking. We move through the shaded part of the park; we notice kids playing on a branch swing, one was coveting and dressed in Ravens gear (dad loves the team, I like the team) that we had to giggle to ourselves. We watched them have fun with the tree. The trek to the lighthouse was long or felt long; the pedometer on my iPod showed we only walked for a half an hour. The walk was worth it, though. The view from the lighthouse was awesome. 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Plumpton Park Zoo

The last time I was at a zoo was in 2001 at the Elmwood Park Zoo in Norristown, Pennsylvania, to help clean it up with my aunt for community service. Fast forward to 2012 and Maryland and you get the Plumpton Park Zoo. Located in Rising Sun, Maryland, Plumpton Park Zoo is a small little zoo that houses all exotic animals, including Jimmie the giraffe. It is great fun for people of all ages; adults and children alike love feeding the animals and laugh in the process. When walking around that is all I witnessed. They're raising money to build Jimmie a new house.

Old School

Last night Old School was at Screwballs. It was fun, as always. :) I am loving the new lineup; they play a better variety of 70s and 80s hard rock and metal. Eddie, the lead singer, when singing Dead or Alive gave me his cowboy hat after the performance was over; I rocked it the whole night.

I will post about my trip to Maryland later. I'm home all this week since dad is off, so I will be updating more often, hopefully! It is going to feel weird not staying with my grandma, though.

FWD:Eddie in cowboy hat for Dead or Alive by bon jovi

Eddie in cowboy hat for Dead or Alive by bon jovi

Saturday, June 9, 2012

FWD:The lighthouse

The lighthouse

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At Elk Neck MD

At Elk Neck, MD

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Bactrian camel @ Plumpton Park Zoo. MD

Bactrian camel @ Plumpton Park Zoo. MD

Friday, June 8, 2012

Maryland tomorrow!

I will keep you updated with my little day trip tomorrow. Then Old School tomorrow night!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Does this Sound Racist?

"Ya know, ya can't sleep in every morning and mama ain't here to wake ya," one of the recruits told him. He was a big black guy, muscular, and someone the opposing team wouldn't want to meet.

"I know dumbass," Ben had mumbled with some French toast stuffed in his mouth.

"What was that, boy," the man had said.

"I know," he spoke loudly. "By the way, my name is Ben. I'm linebacker."

"Antoine, wide receiver."

Ben sighed. He sat down and continued eating his breakfast.

Any thoughts would be helpful!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Milwaukee Hotel!

I booked my Milwaukee hotel (the one for the end of the week, I have to order the night I arrive, but that will be in July after a few paychecks... it'll be $50-$80, but I want to build up my bank account a bit more) and it's a really nice hotel. It better be for $108/night, lol. It has all the amenities and I think it's near a bus stop (I'll have to check that out). Look at the room via TripAdvisor:


Monday, June 4, 2012

More Juneteenth

I decided to name my story "Juneteenth." This is the last teaser, I'll post the link when it's done. It was such a slow day at work, that I got to work on a little bit of it (not much, I will admit, I was feeling lazy today... hormone replacement therapy sucks, but thank goodness it's once every three months).

He froze. He was in his underwear and in his embarrassment, he couldn't move, he couldn't throw the ball and the crowd began pointing and laughing--

Ben woke up in sweat, he was disoriented for a moment; he looked over at the clock: 8am, it was time to get dressed and meet the other recruits for breakfast.
His hair, a dirty blonde, was slicked and pulled back in a black hair tie. Wearing his favorite Packers shirt; yellow with GREEN BAY PACKERS written horizontal green block letters and 1921 in vertical white cursive letters. A football with a runner was below the green block letters. Black cargo shorts were worn; he assumed this outfit would be okay for breakfast and it was nice and cool before he had to change into the hot, heavy uniform.

"Firestone! Glad you woke up and joined us. I didn't have the heart to wake you this morning," Pat said as he stuffed scrambled eggs into his mouth. Pat was loud, but compared to roommates he lived with in college, Pat respected boundaries and was a kind spirit. However, when it came to the game, Pat showed no mercy to opponents. Ben witnessed this yesterday as Pat the linebacker "murdered" the other team. Today was Ben's turn to prove his fierceness.

Coach McCarthy and the personal trainings had told them the night before to eat a lot of carbs and eat as much as humanly possible for breakfast. A banquet fit for his queen, princess and prince laid in front of him. "Holy shit," he thought to himself, and his once famished stomach twisted and turned yelling at him to help himself to croissants, bagels, bacon, fruits and a the numerous entrees laying in aerial view.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Pennypacker Mills's Civil War Reunion 2012

Yesterday, like every year since 2005, I went to Pennypacker Mills's Civil War Reunion. As always, I enjoyed myself. ^_^ Last year I wrote a piece about it that went into my book, I might write another piece of the area and the history behind the Mill that I didn't include in my last piece. What do you think?

I, Jess Cavaliere born in King of Prussia in the state of Penna. aged 23 years, and by occupation of porter DO HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE to have voluntarily enlisted this year, as Soldier in the Army of the United States of America, for the period of THREE YEARS, unless sooner discharged by proper authority: do also agree to accept such bounty, pay, rations, and clothing, as are, or may be, established by law.

Sworn and subscribed to, at Schwenksville this 2 day of June, 1861.

And apparently I'm 5'9. :)

Pennypacker Mills's Civil War Reunion 2012

Friday, June 1, 2012

More Milwaukee Planning

I have been doing more Milwaukee planning. I see that out of state residents can get a one-day fishing stamp for $10 and I'm thinking about doing so. I've always wanted to fish and I figure this would be a good time to try it. Is a stamp for a license though (would that be a separate fee) or would I be safe with just a stamp? Avid fishers, please help!

I've also been looking at the transit system. It's like the system here and it makes me happy. I just have to call them and see where I pick up the line that goes to Kenosha. There is a Civil War museum I want to see that is in Kenosha. The bus also stops in Fond du Lac and I'm still planning what to do there and wonder if I'll have the time. When I get my hotel, I will have to call them about the time I can check in. If it's early, I might just take the bus that day to Lake Winnebago that way when I get back to Milwaukee after five days of being in Green Bay, I can go to Kenosha, see the Brewers game and do whatever else.

Ahh, don't you love my plannings? Haha.

Memorial Day in Philadelphia

Since I've been at my grandma's all week, I am finally going to share pictures with you. :) I am thinking for the book that I am going to write after Milwaukee and Green Bay (just taking notes now) I am going to include the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I just love art museums and I think it's important. I'm thinking I might make a Punk's Guide to South Street a section of the book, then narratives of the other parts of the city. Then I can call the book A Punk's Guide to Philadelphia instead of just South Street. What do you think? I know I'm going to do that for my Wisconsin trip, I am thinking of calling the book Lambeau Leaping Through Wisconsin. I love planning books just as much as I love planning the trips, lol. Anyway, here are some pictures then the link to the album. Enjoy.

Memorial Day in Philadelphia 2012