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Monday, January 30, 2012

His Blue Eyes

Last month I wrote a Hub on how to write a sonnet, which is here, but I still struggle from time to time. The concept is easy (oh how it is easy), but I usually can't write about love. I suppose the sonnet I wrote today does a little bit; I need some feedback (please).

His Blue Eyes

His blue eyes,
the rivers of the Emerald Isle
around the heart, the tide ties
among the rocks, the eddies pile,
capturing me, like pirates to a ship
mutiny all logic, I fall under the spell--
your lullabies charm, the snakes sip
the blood that rises, only He can tell;
the blue of his eyes,
like waves crashing upon the shores;
Lord almighty, I'm burning up inside--
the Lorelei and Siren's song lore
around the heart of the Emerald Isles,
inside the blue of his eyes.


  1. Jessica, with all of my degrees and learning, I say in all honesty that this is a perfect poem, and you know how rarely I give that designation. I love it just as it is. The metaphors, similes and figurative language ebb and flow magnificently here. Great work; don't touch it! :-)

  2. Thanks Dr. Ni. :D Maybe someday I will show him. :p