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Saturday, January 29, 2011

الطبيعة العراق -- new poem

What should I call this? I'm submitting it to Literati.

I stare upon the blank edges,
Papyrus khaki, the water flows
from mouth to body, my eyes wander
the barren landscape; lost.

ا, the beginning, Humbaba’s mouth is fire;
his breath of death—fight, fight for life!
ل, the perfect start, Humbaba’s roar,
the roar of floodwaters, in death breathes life;
ط, exalted crane, your wings guide me through,
let your belly be full, make merry day and night.
ب, climb the ancient staircase to the terrace;
the planted fields fallow, study carefully.
ي, gather the wild asses, the bulls, the camels;
their horns pierce, their humps comfort,
raised by these creatures with tails—
their tears flow, weeping day and night.
ع, you are the door, the window, the entrance
in which the cold, dank, dampness travels;
gather your reeds, prayer beads, Qur’an;
Ishtar’s luminous temple, a distant past;
sandy minarets, diamonds of the sun—
ة, gather your hijab and kufi, join me;
as the crane, the falcon, fly peacefully
and free, supplant man’s sin and hate;
his is the fire that goes out; the house that falls.

ع, the seafarer that brings the water,
the one that didn’t buckle with time—
he is the hero whose skin soaks water.
ر, the cod that swim, pink salmon glide,
the village bathes their head in the azure
waters, washing their silky tresses—
ا, mighty bulbul flies above, smiling,
cawing with happiness, puffed in joy,
let their young delight in their bosoms,
black and brown down feathers—
through the revived stalks of green,
ق, joyful nature lovers, embrace the marshes,
sitting under the moon, stars and sun;
delighting in the sounds of Iraq,
the children that play, skipping school;
the birds that sing and dance upon water,
fish that glide and slide through weeds;
forget the danger that might lurk ahead.

I stare upon this piece of paper,
Papyrus khaki, once blank and empty—
in front of me lies a beautiful image,
new and improved, it won’t be destroyed;
quickly thrown in my knapsack, safe
from the rain and cold, not from eyes
that seek to learn and comprehend.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

snow, snow, snow, snow, wonderful SNOW

For the past two days I've had snow days. Work was canceled today (boohoo) and yesterday school was canceled. I built a snowman today.

Stories to come tomorrow. :) Hopefully Literati or Daedalus accepts them, LOL.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Lust and other Emotions

I'm thinking about sending this to Literati. What do you think? What should I call this?

A brush against the leg,
whirlwind of feelings inside—
an eruption of lava, hot embers sizzle,
should I or shouldn’t I?
a plunge into the unknown,
drowning amongst the ash,
the tidal flow of passion once dormant.
He was born in Saudi Arabia,
the golden sands, the chocolate camels,
the longing runs deep
into idiotic ramblings, shy laughs—
why am I melting into soot?
He’s a good sport—back home to care
for an aging father after years abroad.
Did I mention in my incoherence,
the waves of sea and ash engulf me,
that I’d love to go dance on the hot sands
of Arabia and Egypt, the culture great.
He pats then strokes my thigh, the wicker ignites,
extends his hand, “Goodbye, it was nice
meeting and chatting.” I’m left as embers.

Yesterday I tried on makeup and I love the way I looked. I'm going to work on some pieces tonight as I stay with nan... after my English homework. :)

Saturday, January 22, 2011



I'm sorry for my lack of updating -- school started on Wednesday and it's going to be a busy semester. I do love being an English major, though, and I'm glad I made the switch. Later I'm going to work on some poetry and some other writings, so I will keep you posted.


Saturday, January 15, 2011


Well, no one showed up for my Mary Kay party today (only one was confirmed). However, I am having another one on February 12, so all are welcomed to come. I have a lot of people planning to attend and people have a month to plan. :) But, here are some pictures of me dressed up in my new clothes. I'm practicing on mom tomorrow, so I'll see if I can get better pictures.

Packers and Steelers also won their division games! My teams did awesome today! I took some pictures of the Packers game.

I have more, check out my album:!/album.php?aid=2074757&id=1465830223

Check out my Mary Kay album as well:!/album.php?aid=2074748&id=1465830223

Friday, January 14, 2011

Fundraiser for the Stanley Family

Good Evening everyone,

Attached is the catalog for scrapbooks and scrapbooking frames. I also offer yearbooks, which aren't in the catalog because they're the 8.5x11 option to the 12x12 scrapbook and will have extra pages for your classmates to sign. They range from a flat $15-$20. I will be sending another e-mail with a few more pictures of scrapbooks.

For those participating in the fundraiser for Straw Beary and Karen Stanley, there are two other generous donors if you're interested in what they have to order instead of the scrapbook or ordering them as well as a scrapbook. Here are both of the other causes:

From Niama Williams:
If you don't mind, I would love to add sales of my books to your donation program. I would happily donate $5 from each book ordered from my website ( to keep someone from losing their home. Let me know if you would be interested in "combining forces"!

From Danielle A. Engle:
Danielle and her 3 animal companions are donating $5 from every item sold on their Etsy shop directly to Karen as part of this fund-raising event. The only thing you need to do is shop and share their craft store with friends in hopes they'll shop, too. There are no restrictions or requirements - $5 from ALL items sold during this event will go to Karen at the end of the event.

I was also thinking of sending a Walmart giftcard and care package to the Stanley family, but I'm going to be running a bake sale or two at school. Or you can make a kind contribution to the We Love You Stanley Family but e-mail me at for address info. I will also be selling CDs for tea time (classical music) for $1 to go to the fund.

Thanks again!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Creative Muse

My heart-filled sympathy goes out to all the families of victims from Saturday's shooting in Arizona. Let's have a moment of silence.

As sick as it sounds, I'm interested in Loughtner. It makes me wonder how he ticked and what led him to it. I'm researching it and I'm going to write a few stories based on his character. I have some ideas in mind, like this one:

She looked out the window where her black and white cat was perched on the windowsill. The white laced curtain blocked the glare of the sun, but not enough to wake her up. She looked out the window. There was an empty feeling in the room, despite her cat's presence. This loneliness just couldn't be shaken. Yet, it felt good to be home from the two week retreat.

Some ideas to include:
*She was looking at the labels peeled off of beer bottles. Her fiancee used to collect them, but he was killed at a political rally (like that on Saturday).
*The different labels should talk/describe the fiancee and the relationship: the good and the bad.
*This was the only thing he collected.
*By the end mayhaps get rid of them or she finds it difficult to get rid of them because she uses it as a way to cope.

This is a REALLY rough draft, but I want to get it done by Saturday since I want to submit this to Literati. Then back to the drawing board for other psychological thrillers and crime fiction. I personally love crime fiction.

I have some pretty good ideas regarding someone like him.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Mary Kay Consultant

I am now a Mary Kay Consultant:

Check it out and I can be your consultant. Also, if you want to have a party, I can give you 10% off of products. If you invite 5+ guests, I can give you 50% off of products. Please contact me today at

Also, check out my haiku page:

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Poem for Literati

I just finished a poem I'd like to submit to Literati. What do you think of it? Would it be appropriate?

I am beautiful and slender,
she looks at me with jealousy.
Fresh out of the shower,
she quickly sits upon the brown,
floral quilt; it comforts her.
Anger in her eyes, she never leaves
my crystal cold gaze.
Once slender as well, we'd compare,
now fat replaces as it bunches
around her hips -- ghastly and gross.
Her voluptuous breasts, once 32 C,
stretch and contort with painful red,
like those on her legs, now 36 DD.
I stare in the distance
at two lovers encased in glass,
on exotic vacations, so happy
on the ivory walls, freshly painted.
I spend my days staring at these walls
I stare at these pictures
they deceive and contort the room.

Her face distorted by black,
she curses and screams--
she wants to shatter me,
but ends up shattering herself
on the silver lines that lie.
She loses herself in me--
she hides herself in fruity, firming creams,
they tell her she looks old,
yet she's young, too young:
"I'm sorry, I don't like people your age,
you can never be the exception.
If you were only four years older,"
the crescendo shatters.
Brushing purples and silvers,
reapplying the silver lines
and pretty plum or sparkling pink;
sucking in, grimacing; the corset tightens.

She smiles with perfection,
but I see distortion and pain.
"He'll be sorry," she whispers to me,
"I'm gorgeous, how can he not see?"
Each day I lead her to believe;
I distort the truth like everything else;
that a youthful, beautiful model
will emerge from my reflection
that can erase all the cracks
and shatters of the crescendo of voices,
distort all the distorted pictures to perfect.
But, in me, I see an ugly monster
emerging day by day -- eating her alive.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Haiku Nation 2011

For one of my resolutions, I am writing haiku every day until 12-31-11. Please check out this site:

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2010 In Review

Happy New Year everyone! I'm sorry I'm posting the year in review a little late, but I was tired last night. I don't have it all done, so I will be posting what I have and I will post the rest later when I will also have my goals for 2011 written. Hope all of you had a great New Year's Eve last night.

The year that began the decade, 2010 wasn't as personally eventful as 2009; but nonetheless I learned a lot about myself as I turned twenty-one, found my spirituality through a religion I did enjoy but became involved with the wrong people, met new friends, had a lot of fun and shed some tears with the death of Aunt Kelly, Judy Bierman, JD Salinger, Howard Zinn, and Mary Reck. Indeed, 2010 was a busy year personally as well as globally with blizzards, the oil spill and terrorism -- no wonder why the year went by so quickly! Let us explore the year.

"2010 is almost here," I overheard the announcer on one of the New Year programs. I'm surprised I could hear the television over James's friend's guitar playing. I normally never cared for Dick Clark's Rocking New Year or any program along those lines; New Years Eve 2009 would not be any different -- I gathered with a group of James's friends and listened to the guitarist perform "Basket Case." I had so much fun singing along with him that I almost forgot that I was time time keeper for midnight. I caught a glimpse of my watch and said, "Guys! Guys! Two minutes until midnight!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and panned into the TV. Finally midnight was here; the couples kissed their Happy New Years and I had to call my dad to pick me up. James wanted me to stay, but I had to go home and I wanted to spend the rest of the night at home with Olivia, Mimi and my parents.

I have the part written, well, had it written since last year. I want to include it as it was five months of my year:

Awakening of Curiosity
Jessica Marie

"...And for those who believe, they know that it is the Truth of their Lord..." 2:26.

I stepped out of Dave's car, my heart pounding and many thoughts running through my head. The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue sky, the first warm day since January; yet there were still no blossoms on the tree, which is typical for early March. However, I do see the green grass, with a few small piles of snow still left. I smiled, happy to see the green after a month of seeing the 70 inches of white. I heard the voices of men around me and I looked up to the entrance. I almost walked in through the white door and then I saw a sign that reads "Women Entrance Only." Not wanting to commit a faux pas (especially since I was already nervous in this new place), I walked as quickly I can in a long black pencil skirt, and opened the white door. I saw a white shelf where there were some shoes, I walked quietly to what would be a living room and see a few women, but don't step on the blue-green carpet. I quietly asked them, "Should I take off my shoes?" They shook their head and I quietly walked back to the shelf and took off my black flat heeled shoes while I peeled off my black jacket.

I walk back into the room with the blue-green carpet, with my red blouse with the golden stars exposed. I hope this is modest enough, runs through my mind.
"Are you Jessica," a young woman dressed in her traditional black garb greets me.
"Yes," I replied meekly.
"I'm the Imam's wife," she whispered and started to lead me into the room, "We normally don't talk during the sermon. But, if you have any questions I will answer."

We sit down on the blue-green carpet and despite being in a pencil skirt, I crossed my legs and placed my hands on my lap. The Imam's wife sat next to me and she sat next to another Muslim woman with a little girl that was maybe about two years of age. The little girl loved running around the room, stealing her mother's keys and cell phone and placing them near the fireplace. While I watched her run around, I saw the other women enter, kneel and pray. Then through the speaker, I heard the Imam chant something in Arabic, which his wife explained to him that it was the call to prayer. It goes on for about fifteen minutes and I saw some of the women stare at me, which made me feel a little more out of place. I finally heard English, welcoming us all to this wonderful Friday. The Imam spoke for about forty minutes and his words inspired me and made me think about my life.

"Sometimes we don't always get what we want. We may have a pHd in a subject, yet someone who isn't as educated as us may have a better job. In this crisis of our economy, we should not fear. We should have faith in Allah."

It made me think about all that had been going on in my life the past few years and gave me some hope. It made sense. I lost my faith through the darkest waves of my depression and lost hope in everyone. Maybe if I had the faith, He would guide me.

"When September 11th happened, we wondered how this could have happened and saw the suspicions of our country towards us. However, we need to look past that and realize in that process we have many Americans who became our friends and interested in learning more about us."

Some of the suspicious women turn away and I feel more at ease. What the Imam had to say made me cry a little because it was true. Many Americans acted terribly against Muslim-Americans in the aftermath of September 11th, but fortunately, many good people have become friends of Muslims and tolerant.

The sermon ends and I'm handed a cupcake from a little girl. I smiled and thanked her, then continuing to talk to the Imam's wife about the faith and other questions I had.

More later. :)